“Finding the Good” Part 1

I know you’re all itching to know how my Thanksgiving went, but I’d like to share something else first…

My senior year in high school marked the beginning of my negative feelings toward this holiday. Prior to this year, Thanksgiving was easily my favorite time of year. This particular year, though, a terrible accident happened and it made me look at Thanksgiving with sadness. A well-loved former high school alum was killed in a car accident, forever altering my view of my carefree, little world.

Sara was an exemplary person, one who many of our small town’s youth looked up to. Her death was tragic for everyone who had the pleasure of knowing her. You can read more about her here.

Then, my senior year in college, I heard word of another accident. I’ll never forget. It was the day I had to give my thesis proposal to my peers and professors. My nerves were already elevated, but when I got word of the wreck there was only one thought in my mind and it had nothing to do with the success of my paper. Would my cousin live? Is he going to make it?

His friend (and mine) had already died instantly in the crash-

More heartache felt like more than I could bear. More than I wanted my family to bear. Still, he passed away on Thanksgiving Day.

Trey was 25 when he died. Younger than I am now. It still seems so wrong. But some place deep inside me, I know God is in control of us. I trust in Him. That’s all I can do. Trey’s sister (Laura Lefler Herzog) wrote this about him. I hope you’ll read it because her words say far more than I could ever write and she encapsulates the beauty of Thanksgiving:

Last Thanksgiving, my life changed forever.

My younger brother and only sibling, Trey, was in a very serious car accident and after several days in the hospital he died from his injuries. It was Thanksgiving Day.

There is no doubt that Thanksgiving, and life in general, will never be the same for those that loved Trey, but I believe the timing of his death was significant. It forced us to approach even our darkest day with a spirit of gratitude.

Trey and I both worked for Senator Lamar Alexander for years, and you can’t work or even be around Sen. Alexander for very long without hearing him quote his friend Alex Haley who said, “Find the good and praise it.”

For me, part of “the good” came when we learned that Trey would die the same way he lived, by loving and giving. I like to say that Trey, more than anyone else I know, tried to live his life according to our Lord’s commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves. As a natural extension of his generous spirit he had chosen to be an organ and tissue donor and because of his loving choice at least five people were given new life: two single mothers in their 40s, a 56-year-old mother of two who had been married for 28 years, a 36-year-old gentleman who enjoyed fishing (one of Trey’s favorite pastimes), and a 62-year-old physician and father of four who had been on the transplant list for two years.

My family has learned a lot about organ donation in the year since Trey’s death. In particular, we’ve experienced firsthand that while marking “yes” to organ donation is critical, it’s just as important to share your wishes with family members. As the Tennessee Donor Services Web site states: “A discussion with family now will mean a life-affirming decision later.”

According to Tennessee Donor Services (TDS), Trey renewed his driver’s license at a kiosk in Nashville on May 14, 2007, and marked “yes” to organ and tissue donation. His girlfriend, Jane, also recalled a conversation with Trey just a few weeks before his death indicating his wish to donate “everything.” She remembers him saying, “I’ll be with the Big Guy. Give it all.” As we sat in the hospital waiting room, I struggled with the decision to donate his eyes. It seemed so invasive. But they were not my eyes to give. They were Trey’s, he didn’t need them in heaven, and he had made it very clear to “give it all.”

Many people find talk of organ donation uncomfortable and maybe even morbid. And many people believe organ donation is a good thing, but just put off doing something about it for another day. According to TDS, a survey conducted by the National Coalition on Donation found that 91 percent of respondents support donation, and yet 29 percent have taken no action to indicate their wishes via their driver’s license, donor card, living will, or by simply telling their family. That was me. I’m embarrassed to say that I signed my driver’s license the day that Trey died. I’m so thankful that my responsible brother was not part of that 29 percent like I was.

Because of his decision to be an organ donor, Trey’s story became a resurrection story. Out of death and despair came new life, and our Thanksgiving became an Easter. Through our tears we rejoiced knowing that five families had gotten a call on Thanksgiving Day with news that their loved one would be receiving a life-giving organ. What an incredible Thanksgiving for them!

True story: On my mother’s birthday last March she was having dinner with my stepfather at a restaurant in their hometown, 250 miles from the site of Trey’s hospitalization, when a gentleman approached her and thanked her for the very special gift her son had given him. It was the 62-year-old physician and the keeper of one of Trey’s kidneys. The gift – the good – had come full circle.

Because of his example, I’m a donor now, too.

Every year, around this time especially, my thoughts are with these three individuals who have shown me so much.

There was plenty of good to be found this year. I’ll be sure to share all that with you next time I write. Thanks for listening.

Love,

Mrs. K

Thankfulness

I always treasured the old hymn that says, “Count your many blessings see what God has done.” It’s a practice that should last all the year long, not just on the fourth Thursday every November. God has blessed and enriched my life in so many ways that it would be difficult and lengthy to display in this small space. I’ll list a few, though…

* He gave me an amazing blended family. When my parents divorced, it seemed like the worst thing in my little life. But now, as they have re-married other truly awesome individuals, I recognize how God blessed us even in times of trouble. I consider my additional family members part of my true family, too. I am thankful for my stepmom, Julie, and my stepdad, Joe. Thank you both for making my parents so happy! I’m forever grateful and I love you both.

*God also gave me the most beautiful, wonderful family of my own, too. I’m thankful for J’s parents who raised him to be the man he is today. I’m especially eternally grateful to God for allowing me to raise my angel, Baby K. I love my little family so much; my heart overflows.

*He provides, too doesn’t He? I’m thankful for the promise evidenced in Matthew 6:31-32:

“Therefore, do not worry saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’…For your Heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.”

I’m thankful for Him providing my husband a job that allows us to have food on the table every night, a roof over our heads, and clothes on our backs. I’m thankful and proud that his job is with the Army, too because there are many opportunities for me to miss him and have him return to me-That way, I can fall a little more in love with him each time.

*I’m thankful to be born in the greatest country in the world where I am free to practice my faith in God the Father Almighty.

*I’m also thankful for cookie dough. Mention of this will open a whole other can of worms, though so I’ll just stop right there 😉

*Thank you, dear readers, for sharing in my life with me!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

Home Sick Part 5,348

Thanks for all the encouragement on my last post. It means a lot 😉

Today was a fairly good day until the bottom dropped out a couple of hours ago. I don’t really want to talk about it. My head hurts, I’m frustrated, and exhausted so I’ll probably just go to bed or lay on the couch and half-heartedly cheer on Bama. Perhaps the source of my annoyance is J’s job. He’s in the field. I never enjoy when he leaves, but now I really don’t like it because I have no break from little man. Seriously, props to the single moms…I have no idea how you do this full time. I think the difference is that if you’re raising a child alone, you hopefully have a support system around you. I suppose I have that, too- with all of my TWO friends in the area. I’m so thankful for Jen and Melissa…seriously. I’d go nuts without someone to talk to.

I just really miss home when J leaves. I know he’s my home now, but when he is gone, no matter how short of a time, I long for Tennessee. My family is one of those Leave It To Beaver families. There’s no drama, everyone likes one another, and everyone lives within short driving distance to one another. Everyone except me. And tonight- that really sucks. Most days that really sucks. I miss them all so much.

I’ll quit complaining now. I AM thankful for Captain J’s job because it allows me to stay home with my sweet young un, but tonight I dream of the day he’s a civilian again because I can hear Rocky Top calling my name…

Pumpkin Patch

There are some days in life that aren’t spectacular, but in their own way they’re quite perfect- those days that nothing really happened, but you want to preserve it in your memory forever and always. Today was one of those days for me. It was just my husband, my little man, and me enjoying my favorite season. The weather was cool for the first time this year. We went to a pumpkin patch. We went for a drive. Nothing really happened except I might have fallen a little more in love with my sweet family. I love my boys!

  

No Place Like Home

Hello, blog. It’s me again.

It’s late and I can’t sleep. My brain won’t stop. There’s too much on my mind. Too much to do. But all I want is to have my mom, or sister, or step-mom beside me to cry on talk to. They are all about 13 hours away so you will have to do. Don’t worry…you’ll get a shorter, edited version.

This Army life is hard, ya know? I am just not cut out for it. I was a mess during deployment- a shell of myself half the time, wondering around Walmart with my bestie with my computer and skype attached to my hip just in case. Who does that? I complained in Alaska because I was so far away from my family. It took money to get back in their neck of the woods, something we don’t really have that much of. Now, here we are…in Louisiana. Still, we’re a plane ticket away from family and I’m complaining yet again. Maybe I just thought I wanted adventure. Maybe my adventure was in raising this child, not moving from place to place. In the past year, we’ve lived in Alaska, Georgia, and Louisiana. One year. Three homes. I’m tired.

If only I had a pair of these to click together:

Roadtrip!

May I start by thanking you? Thank you oh so much to all of you who read my last post and commented, texted, sent emails, or facebooked me with encouragement on the matter. It warms my heart to hear that you all care about what’s going on in our little world and it reminds me that I’m not alone. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

I promised some happy things, didn’t I?

How ’bout I tell you about our quick weekend in Home Sweet Tennessee?

We hopped in the car on Wednesday and set out on Baby K’s first ever roadtrip. We had a 12 hour drive ahead of us and that’s not counting stopping to feed/burp/change little man along the way. I was pretty sure we dropped our marbles somewhere when we set out on this adventure, but Baby K was such a little gentleman. He is a good little traveler. His grumpy moments were few and far between on our drive. In fact, his daddy was much more irritated than he was.

Captain J was in a poopy mood. At one point, I asked him if he needed me to help drive. His response? Without even the slightest tilt of his head, he said, “That’d be a death sentence.” Still trying to lighten the mood, I told him I would sing to him to keep him awake if he’d like. For some reason, he declined that, too. What’s up with my boys not adoring my singing voice? Earlier today Baby K puked after I sang him a song. I digress.

Anyway, we eventually pulled into my parents’ house in my small, sleepy little East TN town at around six in the morning. Our arrival coincided with my step-dad leaving for work, my brother getting up for school, and my mom anxiously waiting to get her hands on her newest grandson. Within an hour, they looked like this:

I’m so glad they’ve had some precious moments to bond.

Yaya had to go pick up another cute grandson of hers to take him to preschool so Baby K and I hung out while Daddy slept. We posed…

and made funny faces…

and had a grand ole time! It felt so good to be home and finally be able to show off my little bundle of joy to friends and family who hadn’t met him yet. While we were in town, we went to my former high school’s football game. My sweet boy must be athletic–he caught his first football!

Just before the game, Baby K was overloaded with a host of new (and old) admirers. He met his extended family and my very best friends. Here is my little man with his great-grandmother, aka “Mimi”:

Perhaps he got spoiled with all that attention and that’s why he has been acting totally insane the last couple of days?!

Anyway, we had a ball. We visited “JuJu and Pap” at their boat. We hung out with “Lolly and Pop” at their yacht club party. We I ate at Carl’s a lot. And by the end of the weekend, we decided it just wasn’t enough. Captain J started to re-think his whole military career, but that is another post for another time…

We drove home with a blanket of sadness over us. It’s hard to drive 12 ish hours in the opposite direction of the ones you love when you know you won’t be returning for awhile.

The good news was that we only crossed the Mississippi once on the way back…

I can’t say that’s true for the way there. SOMEbody made a few wrong turns. I won’t mention any names, but it might be the one who claims to be “a master of land navigation”. Maybe.

Anyway, all went well so long as the paci was firmly in place-

and our little Louisiana town never looked so good as it did when we pulled in our driveway. “Home” at last.

Goodbye weekend, hello Monday

As I’m stuffing down way old macaroni and chugging copious amounts of water, I’m reflecting on the whirlwind that was the past few days. In a somewhat last minute decision, Captain J and I decided to drive to Tennessee for the weekend. Clearly, we weren’t thinking.

I’m kidding, but really it was insane.

13 hours one way with a 7 week old

We survived and we had fun to boot! The weather was crisp and cool, a much needed reprieve for us. Baby K got to visit and meet more of his family. We got to watch my brother play a little football. We got to watch Alabama kick Florida’s butt on the football field. We got to hang out on boats with the fam. And believe it or not, we got to relax a little bit. It was nice.

And it was really nice to drive back into our sleepy little town here. We’re exhausted so I’ll have to share pictures from this weekend a little later.

If I don’t talk to you before– Have a great Monday!

XOXO,

Mrs. K

Bananas.

This week was bananas-

B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

Little man decided to go completely insane for a couple of days. Bless his heart. I think I was poisoning him with my coffee habit. Remember how I told you I had to cut back to decaf? It was terrible. But now, it’s terrible awful because I can’t even have that anymore. I had a hunch that the coffee was upsetting his tummy and it wasn’t just the caffeine that was the culprit. I think I was right. When I quit drinking coffee and it got out of my system, he started complaining a little less, spitting up a little less, and smiling a little more! I hope these changes are here to stay for more than twenty four hours. Wish me luck.

On Saturday, my dad and step-mom came into town to visit Baby K. It was so nice to be able to spend a couple of days with them. Baby K has met all but one of his grandparents!

 

They graciously watched him for us while Captain J and I had a date night day. If we’re facebook pals, you know that I checked into the local movie theatre with my love to finally see The Help. Since then, I’ve told Baby K – You is kind, you is smart, you is important– like every day. I love that book and the movie was pretty great, too! We had planned on going out to eat afterward, but we missed our sweet little boy so much that we just came on home.

“Pap” and “Ju-Ju” s visit just didn’t last long enough and before we knew it, they were pulling out of the drive way.

And before I knew it, I was up to my head in laundry and homework again. On one particularly fussy day, I decided I’d drop one of my classes for next semester. If I’m barely getting my work done in one class, I’ll never get anything done in two. So, go ahead and tack on another semester at least for me to graduate and people to call me Master. (Oh, people don’t do that when you get your Master’s degree?) Boo hoo.

Luckily, this little one is worth it.

He’s great. He’s really great. Have I said that recently? 😉

Anywho, I’ve been feeling creative lately. Unfortunately, I’ve had little to no time to create. But last week, I pinned two things on Pinterest that you might try to do, too…

 You’ve probably seen other people do this easy little craft, but in case you haven’t I wanted to show you my version. I got the picture frame for 3 bucks at a thrift store. Next, you have to have a printer. Now, this is where it gets really difficult (insert facetiousness)….Type out your message, leave a little space for you to write, and then print! Voila! You have a sweet way to let your husband (or child) know how much they mean to you each day. Just use a dry erase marker to write on the glass of the frame and you’ve got yourself a craft. Woo hoo!

Then there’s this purdy little necklace (Note: I didn’t make this). It would be too easy to do for those of you who have access to jewelry making stuff. Here in back woods Louisiana, there’s no such store. Ok, maybe there is but it’s 45 minutes away and my last trip there was a bit of a nightmare so that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Anyway, if you find yourself in Leesville, LA you could just stop by this cute little store and pick up one for yourself.

I’m going to go check up on all of you now. My google reader is getting out of control! #totalblogstalker here. Adios amigos.

I am weak.

When you’re up to your eye balls in diapers, laundry, and homework, what do you do?

I’ll tell you what I do.

Absolutely nothin’.

Last night my sleep was less than restful so when little man woke me up for the gazillionth time this morning, I decided I wasn’t getting up and doing anything productive. I was finally going to follow the wise words- “You sleep when he sleeps”. I fed him and then put him down in his crib. I laid down in my own bed and waited for the next high pitched screamed to drag me out of bed again. Imagine my surprise when it didn’t come until 10am!

Baby K slept in his crib for the first time ever today. Such a big boy!

For the rest of the morning, we hung out and watched Teen Mom while I fed him and he dozed off. Part of me feels slightly panicked for not doing a darn thing. The other part of me knows that this is something I needed.

The other day during my personal bibly study, I had Pandora on in the background. A song came on and the words really spoke to me. It was something I already knew, but a good reminder just the same…

Half the time I’m wandering around the house like a zombie. I’m going through the motions- changing diapers, feeding, trying to figure out why Baby K is upset, trying not to get an attitude with Captain J because of lack of sleep, trying to make the boys in my life happy. I’m not broken, but I am weak. I’m pretty tired most days. I’m in a strong current, treading water, but just barely, trying to stay afloat in school.

Many times, the last thing that is on my mind is how I can serve God. I talk to Him and ask Him where he wants me, but I rarely listen or hear Him when He speaks. After all, when do I have the time to further God’s kingdom? I don’t even have time to sleep.

In 2 Corinthians, I found:

“For though he was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, but we shall live with Him by the power of God toward you.” – 2 Corinthians 13:4

Then I remember how weak Jesus was on that day. I remember how God used Him, even at his weakest point. And I think, I can surely find time throughout my day to serve God. Even if it’s just in the little things…

* Like telling my husband how much he means to me and how he is appreciated

* Like taking care of my sweet son while remembering that I’m going to miss this stage of his life when he’s older

* Like taking time out of my day to truly talk and listen to God

So what if I’m tired and weak? God uses the unlikeliest of people. I have so many blessings in my life to be thankful for- my family, my friends, my health, the church, a roof, water, food…

and this little guy who I can’t imagine loving any more than I already do. I’m so so very thankful for him!

Here’s the song. I hope you all have a blessed week!

weekend

This is the ole ‘I didn’t do much this weekend but I’m going to tell you about it anyway‘ post. Ye be warned!

On Friday, Baby K and I met up with a friend and her daughter for coffee at a local joint. This town where we currently reside has slim pickin’s in the coffee department (read: every department) so imagine my utter joy at finding a place with a huge list of specialty coffees! I want to try every single fall inspired cup! Here are some photos from our little date:

(Whoa…that picture is too big)

(There…that’s better)

We had such a good time. It was nice to get out of the house and talk to another adult. Captain J just isn’t very good at girl talk. Aside from K getting milk drunk and puking all over my dress, we had a lovely outing. Ha!

On Saturday, we watched football until it was time to have dinner. We ate over at said friend’s house with her and her husband. Again, this was fun, too until Baby K screamed, “TAKE ME HOME!” which sounded more like “WAAAAAA AAAA AAAHHH!”

This young un has quite a set of lungs on him.

Finally, Sunday we were able to take Baby K to church. We had refrained from doing so up until this point because as my great grandmother used to say, “That’s a lot of fellowship to wash off your hands”. We were afraid that people would be touching him, breathing in his face, or (*gasp) wanting to hold him. I went prepared with hand sanitizer for the really persistant ones, but everyone was on their best behavior. They all welcomed him to church from a distance which made this new mommy very thankful. I really like that church.

Afterwards, we came home to watch some more football. Unfortunately, our pro team didn’t do so hot. It. got. ugly.

But at least we were cute in our gameday gear:

And now we’ve arrived at Monday. I’ve been cleaning the house, entirely sleep deprived all day. The highlight was when I heard the *honk honk of the mail lady and saw that my new cloth diapers had arrived. Woo hoo!

It’s weird what adults get excited about, huh?

We’ve had some other excitement around here, too. Yesterday the pups got to come inside for awhile and hang out with the baby because J had a situation outside to attend to. A poisonous water mockasin was lurking by the porch and we can’t have that, can we? Captain J took care of it (with a shotgun).

We also had a rather huge spider running around the hallway the other night. But after a double (ok, maybe tripple) tap, that sucker was history.

There’s lots of creepy, crawly things in Louisiana.

But we like it here.