love of my life

This little ole blog of mine has been quite neglectful of one very important person in my life lately…

This guy. He cleans up nice, doesn’t he?

He has been great the past few weeks especially. He is a wonderful father. I knew he would be, but I never could have anticipated how protective he would be of our new addition. I wouldn’t have guessed that he would argue with me about who gets to change his diaper, hold him, or buckle him in his car seat. We both just can’t stay away from our sweet boy.

This isn’t about him, though.

It’s about my husband. The strong, decisive, loving, goofy man I married almost two years ago. The keeper of my sanity. The love of my life.

It feels good to write all those roles out. My husband is so many more roles to me, too. I just hope I can be the wife and mother he always wanted for his new little family.

What do you appreciate about your spouse today? Leave it in the comment section or link up a recent post with Mrs. Alana!

Water to Wine

From the perspective of a married, mid twenties female (ya know, since that accurately describes me), I’d like to give my two cents on marriage. When I was younger, I had little intention to get hitched before the age of 30. It wasn’t something I wanted to jump into. It was a serious commitment, in my eyes, one I didn’t think I’d be ready to make until much later in life. Much to my surprise, I found the man I wanted to marry when I was twenty three years old thereby crushing all my plans of waiting to get serious with a man.

I knew I wanted Captain J for the rest of my life. Who was this girl? I didn’t feel like I knew myself anymore after realizing this. I DID know that I wanted to marry him.

Many people told me congratulations with hesitant smiles, while others were quick to tell me that marriage wasn’t easy. I know how difficult it can be to find the right words to say in many situations so I didn’t worry too much about the minor discouragements. My relationship with J bloomed over the internet, as he was deployed to Iraq shortly after we met. By the time we were married, I had truly only spent three months with him. The other part of our relationship was long distance. Perhaps this made us stronger and better able to communicate than we would have been had we not had to face a deployment early on.

In a way, I still have no idea what I’m doing. Sure, marriage IS hard, but the alternative would be worse. I now have someone by my side forever (Lord willin’) and that is worth any obstacle that could stand in our way. I have been contemplative lately as I embark on this new journey of studying Marriage and Family Therapy. I know I have so much to learn in practice, in personal experience, and in growing with God’s definition of marriage.

But sometimes I think, “Could it be simple?”

In a wedding ceremony in Cana, Jesus performed his first miracle. He turned water into wine. Is this symbolic? Perhaps marriage is just another miracle from on high. If you think about it, every day you wake up, go to work, and do the whole married couple thing- it’s a decision every day to place faith in your spouse that you’re both in it together. And with God integrally involved in the relationship, what once was plain is transformed into something wonderful!

Faith creates miracles. Faith is what makes one want to keep a marriage going.

Faith. It seems so simple, doesn’t it? It’s beautiful to think about- if you believe in miracles, that is.

Cheers!

Happies!

I cannot take credit for this term. It was coined by my sister and her loving husband. But I am going to define it so that I can proceed with bragging on my own husband this afternoon. “Happies” can be used as a noun or verb and refers to items or thoughtful tasks done to create happiness in and for your spouse. Got it?

There are some things that my husband just isn’t good at (doing dishes, laundry, hanging up clothes), but there’s no need to point out faults! 😉 Captain J is good at so many things, though. Among these, I must mention that he’s pretty darn good at making me feel loved.

He left me with happies as he walked out the door this morning and greeted me with another as he came home from work today. I got breakfast in bed which is significantly more thoughtful now that I’m expecting our child. 2nd trimester or not, I still feel a little wonky if I don’t eat as soon as I wake up. In case you’re wondering, Millies, he did this after PT and before work- otherwise, I might have had to fight him.

I cleaned all day long. I cleaned all afternoon long. You wouldn’t believe how much this lazy lady accomplished. Spring cleaning fever (or early signs of nesting?)  kicked me in high gear and I accumulated four and a half bags of clothes to donate to goodwill, straightened and organized our entire closet, and cleaned all the dirty rooms in our house.

What better way to wind down is there than what happened next-

My handsome man in uniform walks through the door with one of those miniature glass bottle cokes in hand and asks me to join him on our front porch swing. We recently discussed how much better coke seems to be out of the old school glass bottles. What a wonderful “happies” for me!

Oh, and please spare me from the “You shouldn’t be having coke because you’re pregnant” spiel. I’ve got plenty of people who would love to tell me what to do already 🙂 Besides, this is my first coke in a long, long time. It’s not usually something I drink- pregnant or not. It was such a nice treat today, though!

I’m just so thankful for my husband. What made you happy today?

Blink 182

Just breathe, I thought to myself. He’s not going to change his mind. My frantic thoughts were sporadic. One moment I was laughing, enjoying a nice afternoon with two of my favorite women. The next moment I was wondering if my shoes were too much or if my veil was too wrinkled. I was worried that I might break a nail then later, that he might change his mind. Extreme uneasiness melted into a complete sense of peace. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Still in the PJs

This was the excitement of my wedding day. There were no concerns over seating or music. My friends weren’t close by in questionable dresses they’d never wear again. I didn’t have to pay for a cake that I didn’t need to eat. 

It was only me. It was only him. It was only us.

On our big day, my knight in shining armour picked me up at my house and we drove to our destination, a chapel in the hills of Tennessee. On the way, we checked each other out- both impressed by how we cleaned up! We also belted out 80’s rock ballads and laughed until our cheeks ached.

An encouraging farewell hug from Mom

This was all I ever needed. HE was all I ever needed. I love that man!

Today we’re celebrating 182 days of wedded bliss. While this number isn’t really significant in any way, it is still a reminder for me to take this marriage one day at a time. Through good days and bad, through happy and sad, he’s the best friend I’ll forever have.

Love you, Captain J!

Maybe one day we’ll get our ceremony for everyone to enjoy, but until then it’s fun to look back on the day it all began! 🙂 182 days went by in the blink of an eye. I’m sure the next will, too which is why I am thankful for each and every day I get to spend with him.

Love and Marriage (ya gotta sing the title)

“The first year of marriage is the hardest.”

It seems like everyone I know says this. Even when I don’t ask for advice or insight, I still get this response. I’m not complaining; I’m just curious. Do you feel that way? Was your first year of marriage the toughest to date? It seems to me this could go one of two ways 1.) Yes, the first year is hard. Two lives are merging. Both people are re-learning how to share money, time, the bathroom! “New” habits are rearing their ugly heads. Each individual is becoming 50% of a closely knit team and relinquishing control can be difficult. Or 2.) Nope, it’s easy peasy lemon squeezy. The first year of marriage is still the honeymoon stage. The real trials come later.

Perhaps there’s a combination of both. I don’t know. I want to hear what you think.

As for my marriage, I’m hoping the first year is indeed the hardest because so far every day has just felt right. I know this may be premature because we’ve only been hitched for two months but this first year has been wonderful. Just yesterday, J came home from work, the kitchen was in disarray because I couldn’t locate the casserole dish and the ingredients were already mixed up and ready to go, and the dog was barking, jumping, and nipping at both of us while we greeted each other. Kenny Chesney was playing on the radio and my handsom man in uniform turns up the volume and grabs me in his arms for an impromptu dance and in that moment, all the chaos flees and it’s just me and him. I love that man.

Here’s to hopin’ J and I can always kick our shoes off, do a little dance, and melt away any sadness that either of us feel. It is my hope that you will keep us in your prayers this first year. Pray that God will guide us and that we’ll always keep Him first. I know if we do that, we’ll be just fine. 🙂