I am weak.

14 Sep

When you’re up to your eye balls in diapers, laundry, and homework, what do you do?

I’ll tell you what I do.

Absolutely nothin’.

Last night my sleep was less than restful so when little man woke me up for the gazillionth time this morning, I decided I wasn’t getting up and doing anything productive. I was finally going to follow the wise words- “You sleep when he sleeps”. I fed him and then put him down in his crib. I laid down in my own bed and waited for the next high pitched screamed to drag me out of bed again. Imagine my surprise when it didn’t come until 10am!

Baby K slept in his crib for the first time ever today. Such a big boy!

For the rest of the morning, we hung out and watched Teen Mom while I fed him and he dozed off. Part of me feels slightly panicked for not doing a darn thing. The other part of me knows that this is something I needed.

The other day during my personal bibly study, I had Pandora on in the background. A song came on and the words really spoke to me. It was something I already knew, but a good reminder just the same…

Half the time I’m wandering around the house like a zombie. I’m going through the motions- changing diapers, feeding, trying to figure out why Baby K is upset, trying not to get an attitude with Captain J because of lack of sleep, trying to make the boys in my life happy. I’m not broken, but I am weak. I’m pretty tired most days. I’m in a strong current, treading water, but just barely, trying to stay afloat in school.

Many times, the last thing that is on my mind is how I can serve God. I talk to Him and ask Him where he wants me, but I rarely listen or hear Him when He speaks. After all, when do I have the time to further God’s kingdom? I don’t even have time to sleep.

In 2 Corinthians, I found:

“For though he was crucified in weakness, yet He lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in Him, but we shall live with Him by the power of God toward you.” – 2 Corinthians 13:4

Then I remember how weak Jesus was on that day. I remember how God used Him, even at his weakest point. And I think, I can surely find time throughout my day to serve God. Even if it’s just in the little things…

* Like telling my husband how much he means to me and how he is appreciated

* Like taking care of my sweet son while remembering that I’m going to miss this stage of his life when he’s older

* Like taking time out of my day to truly talk and listen to God

So what if I’m tired and weak? God uses the unlikeliest of people. I have so many blessings in my life to be thankful for- my family, my friends, my health, the church, a roof, water, food…

and this little guy who I can’t imagine loving any more than I already do. I’m so so very thankful for him!

Here’s the song. I hope you all have a blessed week!


5 Responses to “I am weak.”

  1. Mowenackie September 14, 2011 at 1:15 pm #

    Nice message. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    But, how did Baby K get a Maine shirt?? That’s my neck of the woods. 🙂

    • Mrs. K September 14, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

      Is it ? 🙂 J’s parents picked it up for us…they’ve got roots up North so I suppose they got it while visiting. It’s cute- says “Maine Man” 🙂

  2. carolinanorthw September 15, 2011 at 12:45 am #

    Darius Rucker “It won’t be like this for long”

    Listen to it.

    Miss you, my dear!


    • Mrs. K September 15, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

      I like that song a lot 🙂 Miss you, too!

  3. Becca@ The Finish Line September 16, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Awww…great post and mini-devotional! You are already a family counselor! 🙂 It is true how lack of sleep puts you in survival mode over the long term. It gets better. It seems like you will never sleep again, but I promise you will 🙂

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